6 Prayers of Celebration and Peace for Pregnancy After Loss
Parenting
Audio By Carbonatix
By Jaime Jo Wright, Crosswalk.com
How well I remember how the joys and expectations of pregnancy felt like they were stolen from me. After three miscarriages in a row, I had told my husband that if pregnancy number four did not survive, my heart and spirit would not be able to walk through the anxiety of pregnancy number five.
The loss of an infant is earth-shattering. And once experienced, any pregnancies thereafter are forever influenced by that loss. After the initial joy of learning that a new life is entering the world, comes the torturous anticipation of every complication. Not to mention the emotional and psychological elements of being afraid to hope, feeling as though you are betraying the child you lost by the perception that you are somehow replacing it, and also navigating the naïve excitement of those around you who anticipate the new little one while seeming to forget the one you’re still grieving.
In the midst of it all, your faith is challenged. Your courage is threatened. Your hope is battered. When that happens, finding the words to celebrate or ask for God’s peace is very difficult.
Here are some ideas for prayer that may help walk you through your experiences, as they did for me.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Maskot
Prayer 1: A Prayer for the Courage to Hope Again
It is so difficult to hope again. Once you have walked through the darkness of losing a child, the very idea of hope feels so risky and even, at times, foolish. It’s during this time that going before the Lord and asking him for the courage to hope and the ability to open your heart up to anticipation again is a very good idea.
Remember the lament of Jeremiah: Lamentations 3:21-24: "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Prayer 2: A Prayer for Peace Over the First Trimester
The first trimester of a new pregnancy is a very nervous time. Even with no experience of loss, the first trimester is a maze of unknowns, new symptoms, frightening changes, and emotional ups and downs. After the loss of a child—in this case, especially through miscarriage—the first trimester is anything but a joyful time. It becomes a looming guillotine ready to drop at any moment. The anticipation of doom can become a pit of dread. So at this point, a prayer for peace over the first trimester is very appropriate. Praying that the Lord would minister to your heart and give you the peace that passes all understanding—because it is not within our ability to comprehend peace during this time.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Prayer 3: A Prayer to Release Fear at Every Appointment
The prayer to release fears before your appointments is so very important. I remember those moments when, on the ultrasound, we witnessed the silence of our child. The overwhelming pain and grief as the infant was still there, but their spirit had already passed away.
Grab a hold of the verse: Isaiah 41:10:
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Prayer 4: A Prayer Honoring the Baby You Lost
One of the difficult things many do not expect to experience is the feeling that you are betraying the child you lost if you anticipate the child still to come. It is important, then, to come before the Lord and honor that baby who has gone to be with Him. Utter prayers of thanksgiving for the time you had them in your life, acknowledge their existence, and embrace the memory of them. This is an important thing to pray over, because it brings a sense of validity to your grief and to your loss, and it also adds perspective as you prepare to welcome their sibling.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Drs Producoes
Prayer 5: A Prayer for Protection Over This Baby's Life
Enter into prayer as you enter this new pregnancy, by entrusting your child’s health and development to the Creator who knit them together. This can be a prayer of dedication, a prayer for health, and a prayer for sustenance for the babe as it grows. Wrap this child in your prayerful embrace and remember what the Psalmist said:
That's Psalm 139:13-16:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Prayer 6: A Prayer for Your Relationship During This Season
It is so important to remember to pray for the other partner in this child’s life. Grief and loss can impact relationships exponentially. They can stretch, pull, and tug until the strain becomes too great to bear. A new pregnancy can surface unprocessed grief differently for each partner. So, asking God to unify, strengthen communication, and help you come together as parents in this journey is so critical.
Remember, through loss and through life, prayer is really what will sustain you as you navigate grief, fear, joy, excitement, and all the conflicting, swirling emotions and realities you will go through.
As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-4:
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."
Joy and grief can walk the journey side by side. Grief does not cancel out your joy, and joy does not cancel out your grief. Both children have sketched their stories on your heart, and they will always remain there. Prayer is a sacred space where you can both shed your tears at the feet of a loving Father and embrace joy and anticipation with the faith that He holds this new little one in His grip.
When it all seems insurmountable or utterly terrifying, pray this Psalm in the form of a prayer:
Psalm 46:1-2 – "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
Change it to be personalized. God is MY refuge and strength. Therefore, I will not fear.
Related:
7 Pregnancy Prayers for Health, Safety, and Encouragement
